Tips to Stay Connected When He’s Out of Town.
Between apprenticeships, tramping, storms, fires, and zombie apocalypses our Linemen are well traveled! And there’s just no two ways about it, being away from your parter is really tough on your relationship. For its sustained health there needs to be some concentrated effort spent working on maintaining your connection to each other.
It feels easy to try and compartmentalize your feelings and pretend like it isn’t hard. Ignore it and it will go away, right? Please don’t close yourself off. Please take a little time each day to genuinely connect with each other and stay close even if you can’t be together physically. It will pay off when you are together again.
Do what works for you guys, but if you need some ideas, here’s a few to get you started. Be sure to reach out and let us know what you’re doing to stay connected to your Lineman whether he’s home every night or not.
It’s so easy. It’s so simple.
It’s so so forgettable!
You want to connect and share little things or let him know you’re thinking about him. But in your day to day life it’s so easy to forget to actually send the text. Or, if you’re like me, you don’t even think about it. Then when you actually do go to text him you realize you haven’t sent him anything for days. *Fail* Let’s use the tools available to us. I do not think it’s cheating to schedule a few simple texts. A picture of you two on vacation, a funny meme, a message saying you appreciate him. Doesn’t have to be big.
+Make your calls count+
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has had a conversation with my LM go like this:
“How was your day?”
“How was yours?”
“It was good.”
“Well, I really love you. I’d better let you go.”
“Alright. Have sweet dreams.”
You want to have a conversation but you just don’t know what to say. It’s been a long long day but you don’t want to taint the small time you have together with that. And you know he is so tired too. Sister, I’ve so been there. There is no shame in it, sometimes that’s just the way it is. But it doesn’t have to always be like that.
Is there this great show you both love? Watch it together! More into reading? Do that instead! Then you’ve got something easy to talk about. Pick a speed you want to work with and take notes so you’ve got some talking points. Or, if it works for you, watch it together via Skype, Facetime, whatever you use. (See next tip) Do you have a faith or spirituality based practice? Do it together. It might seem strange to pray or meditate together over the phone at first, but give it a shot.
+Cyber Date Night+
Hear me out. Redbox has kiosks everywhere. Go get the same movie, grab dinner, log in, and boom! The classic “dinner and a movie” reimagined.
+Opt for simpler packages, more often+
I’m all for big, statement type care packages. You know the sort, with all the trimmings. The treats, the presents, the notes, etc. But I also know that when I go huge I’m much less likely to get it done. So why not keep it simple? He can send you a little souvenir from wherever he is at the time. You can send him a hug disguised as a blanket– be sure to spray it with the perfume he likes best before. Funny greeting cards are great.
+ Pack him lunches for the week+
Ok, am I too much? I’ve packed lunch for my LM nearly every work day of our married life. There have been times where it has been a financial necessity. There have been times when he hasn’t eaten it for one reason or another. But it has always been appreciated and I know it’s means a lot to him to know that I took some time to think about him. When he was away from home I would pack lunches en mass and separate them out into gallon size ziplock bags. Then each morning he’d grab a back, toss it in his lunchbox, and head to work. He is reminded, every day, that I love him and I spent time thinking about him. This one works best if he’s only gone for a few days at a time. If he’s gone for a longer time pack non-perishable items like granola bars, trail mix, fruit leather, and jerky. But either way, I’d recommend you put little love notes in there too.
+Make sure you’ve filled your cup too+
You’ve heard the adage, if you’re cup isn’t full you have nothing to give your loved ones. So make sure you’re still doing things that fill you with peace, joy, love, all the good stuff. If you don’t know what that is, sister, we’ve got some work to do. Just make sure that as you continue to develop yourself, you bring your LM along for the ride. Tell him about your hobby, your dreams, your goals. He wants to support you as you work to become your best self. Just like you’ve got his back, too.
+If you’ve been apart a long time+
I want to put a little plug here. If you’ve been doing this for a long time and you feel like you’re struggling, there are professionals who can help. Counseling isn’t reserved for when you’re on the brink of giving up. Think of it like maintenance on your car. Sometimes a little tune-up can do wonders.
Loving life on the line,