No one prepares you for a life of travel. Or a life of your spouse traveling. The guilt, miscommunication, the disconnectedness and so much more. Decisions made by one spouse because the other one is working or busy. It is not a glamorous life. Balance can be achieved if BOTH are willing to communicate openly with each other.
One more person who utters, “well you guys must be making a TON of money just be happy”! Will get throat punched. Sure, money flows when the jobs are plentiful. What they do not see is TWO households being supported, one at home and one with your Lineman on the road. That my friend gets ridiculously expensive! They do not see the emotions of them being gone for long periods of time and the disconnection you have when your spouse is away for so long. I mean, video chat does not fix a relationship. Although, it does help on the road. It is no answer for not seeing the person you love, well, in person!
Sometimes being apart means you are making decisions like buying a house, fixing plumbing, deciding on a bedroom set and so on. We are some of the strongest women! Attorney wives do not have the intense passion that we do. I would categorize us with military wives, oil field wives and many other rough and rugged trades out there. It has been said a million times and it will be said a million times again. WE HAVE GRIT, WE ARE STRONG WOMEN!
Listen, you will never be able to make “Karen” or “Felicia” understand the way you feel or this life. The only way you understand this life with your Lineman is to live it. They will never understand, storm work, layoffs, tramping, or lonely nights. If these “friends” are bringing you down, you need to re-evaluate your circle. I am not saying kick them to the curb but look at the quality of your circle. You need other strong women around you.
What can you do to build your relationship? Communicate! Do not want to move there? Say it! Do not feel good about a certain city your Lineman is working in? Voice it. Obviously, within reason. Meaning, do not come at him with the fire from hell and expect him to respond with love and grace. Talk it out. Meet in the middle. You are both a team and working together like one will help weave your relationship closer and closer together.
I always say a pray for my Lineman that a hedge of protection is around him and his brothers. Me stressing about him being gone and him not texting me back within the hour amplifies the problem. Then he is not concentrating on his work and that is when accidents can happen. Do not add to his stress. If he is working storm or a big job that is in the dangerous point, do not call and tell him the water heater is leaking. Do not tell him he did not text you back fast enough or your mad at him because he did not call you back last night. Let him work. If you feel like you will forget, write it down in your notes on your phone. Think about what you say will affect him at work.
Look girl, he picked you for a reason. You are strong, independent, passionate, mixed with a little crazy! Rest assured he could have picked anyone, but he chose YOU. He loves you. You love him. Find the miracle grow to add to your relationship. It is the best feeling in the world to see your relationship blossom and grow. Now, obviously it is not sunshine and daisies all the time. If that were the case we would all be bored. Life, yep, life is like a roller coaster. Laugh and smile as you reach all the peaks. Hold hands and love has you fall into the valleys.
You got this girl! Don’t ever forget what an amazing and strong woman you are!